Have you ever felt...? like wanna crying out loud for help and wonder if people would understand? like you were the only one on the road and wonder where has everybody gone? like things ain't right and wonder if you are able to continue this fight or just give up?

Sometimes, deep in my heart, I do struggle..I do cry a lot and feel the pain..sometimes I would feel like nobody will understand me, cause they aren't going through what I am going through or what I have been through..the pain the sorrow..feel like a failure in disguise......

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Every night before bed, I try to grab some 'me' time, at least some minutes, to do some readings on Dhamma, to gain my faith, to increase my inner strength, to practice it in real life so as to pull me through the ups and downs in life..

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Food for thought from two of my dear seniors. One of them asked me "Who is the most important person in your life?" I said Buddha. He replied "It's true. But the most important is still: Yourself."...thinking of that, it's true, Buddha's teaching is just a guide for us..(regardless of anything we pursue in our lives) It's still depend on ourselves of whether to learn, to practice, to make a change and be better, or not....Another senior cheered me up when I once faced a failure. "....It's OK to fail..You fail..so what? It might be a blessing in disguise..." Yes, for every stumble ling block we encounter, there's certain a lesson that we can learn from it and grow up.

And today, I was very grateful to have the opportunity to attend the sharing session given by our former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir. I listened attentively in everything he said and started to ponder along the way. There were many words of wisdom from Tun that struck me and which I could relate, as a medical student or doctor-to-be: how he overcome the fear and shame of being looked down upon, how he managed to strive, survive, and success in his medical career (and later the field of politics) starting from being merely an average medical student, and the Buddhist doctrines: the first intention, metta (loving kindness), the Noble Eightfold Path (right thought, right action, right understanding etc)....such meaningful sharing, straight to the point, and worth to think over..

I would like to end this post by sharing:

Failure in Disguise

by Jayesslee

Have you ever felt like you were the only one on the road?

Have you ever wondered, "Where has everybody gone?"

Have you ever felt abandoned?

Have you ever felt alone?

Have you ever felt like just crying out for help?

And then did you wonder "Will they even understand?"

Have you ever felt a pain you could not bear?

But the world, it goes around just fine anyway.

Well I, I hear your cry,

And I, I feel your pain;

I know you try so hard

To make things right,

To overcome

This endless fight--

Just don't give up.

Have you ever felt like you just stepped over the line?

And then, did you just pretend that everything was fine?

Have you ever felt nobody knows who you are?

Have you ever felt like a failure in disguise?

Well I, I hear your cry,

And I, I feel your pain;

I know you try so hard

To make things right,

To overcome

This endless fight--

Just don't give up,

Just don't give up,

Just don't give up,

I won't give up.

H⊙mer the Musical

  As a music lover, musical, instrumental or art performances have always been on my favourite list. I remembered I attended Disney on Ice when I was small (special thanks to mummy), musical concerts organised by my Yamaha music academy (I even had the chance to perform piano on stage!) (special thanks to my piano teacher), a musical organised by UPM Buddhist society (special thanks to Buddhist Fellowship UKM KL Branch, Carmen & Paquita ballet performance at Istana Budaya (special thanks to SiewWum), a mini concert at Petronas Philharmonic KLCC on my 19th birthday (special thanks to XuVin), Adam The Musical (the first Malaysian musical to deal with the HIV/AIDS issue) organised by The Actors Studio in collaboration with the Malaysian AIDS foundation...Hmm, did I miss out any? Hope the list goes on :)

So here's another musical which I was quite excited about! why thinking back, the last musical I attended was 2 years back..yea..This time, special thanks to my cousin sis :) And this was also the first time I attended a musical with her..hehe :)

 

Main actor and actress acting on stage as Hosea and Gomer

 Background: "Homer the Musical" was inspired by the book of Hosea, which is found in the Bible. Written by the prophet Hosea, it tells the story of a man who was commanded by God to marry and love an adulterous wife. But the story of Hosea and his wife Gomer illustrates another story - that through the Israelites' unfaithfulness had angered God, He still longed for them to return to Him. God pursues our love relentlessly, even when our sins have broken His heart. Hosea would preach and illustrate God's immeasurable love, through the experience of marrying - and restoring -his unfaithful wife. 

Although the storyline was inspired from the Bible and depicted around Christianity, it was an enjoyable musical for me. During the musical, I reflected and had my mind running of what the pastor said, of what the life lessons that I could possibly learn from the musical regardless of the religion. Yes..besides the fun and excitement along with the beautiful songs and voices, I personally would tend to think deeper about the messages that a musical is trying to convey. A musical would not be great if merely bringing the hype among the audiences without any food for thought. 

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p/s: Sharing pics of one of the previous awesome musical that I had attended 2 years back:

[Adam the Musical. an uncommon Love]